How do you feel about turning 23?
Childhood is over when there’s no longer the sparkle bouncing within you that comes from turning a year older. It passes quietly, my eyelids heavy and closed before midnight.
Last night, a friend asked me this very question as we were walking back home from my birthday dinner. To be walking home with friends who all live on the same two blocks, ten minutes away from a Michelin-starred Peruvian restaurant, makes me feel luckier than finding a ladybug on a four-leaf clover.
Not to mention, this was my second birthday dinner. Last week, I celebrated over grilling a palatial Wagyu tower. For the first time in a long time, I’m blessed with the struggle of having too many people to want to celebrate with. Not all can come, not all can fit at the table, but there’s no greater gift than the fondness that envelopes me at the thought of our friendship.
Thank you to MK for the oolong tea, Jo for the tea packets, and MP for the decaf coffee + coffee maker. You know me well.1
how to host a birthday dinner
Begin with a list of must-have people. No coworkers allowed (if you invite one, you have to invite them all). No cliques allowed.
Split the celebration into two dinners, to accommodate guests’ availability. The more dinners, the merrier!
Decide which guests attend which dinner based on:
availability
willingness to pay
character dynamics/backgrounds/mutual friends.
Select two restaurants, based on culinary quality, interactive experience (no tasting menus), and birthday perks (e.g., free photos, desserts). Familiarize with the menu so you know 80% what to order.
Send out invitations and consistent reminders. Guests will continue to get the time/date wrong, until the very last minute! Warn them of any traffic/transport issues.
Make little goodies (adult goodie bags) like matchbooks, name cards, drawings, or bracelets for the guests.
Arrive to the venue 10-15 minutes prior to use the restroom, check in, put your card down (if you’re a good Asian), and set up seating arrangements. Be mindful of gender split, who would connect well, who might want to get to know each other better, etc.
Stand at the entrance to welcome guests as they arrive.
Order for the table but be sure to honor everyone’s requests. Be responsible for dishing out food, and eat last. All the while, facilitate introductions and conversation starters.
Snap a photo and order dessert.
Everything has been paid for. Refuse everyone’s Venmo requests… you’ll just say “treat me next time.”
I shot a gun
Hear that? The boom like a bolt of thunder that shakes me to the core every time, even though I know it’s coming. Feel that? The recoil that sends my arms backward, even though I swear I have just the right amount of tension in my arms, albeit my knuckles are white from gripping the pistol.
Hear that? The sound of freedom is loud and clear. Feel that? The price of liberty.
Just 30 minutes outside of D.C., the shooting range is a microcosm of a different side of America. A middle-aged white man had proudly stuck a noticeable DOGE sticker on his monstrous backpack. I stared into the black beaded eyes of dead animals hung as trophies on the unassuming off-white walls.
Detaching the shooting range from its “hilly billy” stereotypes and connotations, I have immense respect for the sport. It’s like a golf driving range, but more expensive and tactile—and for me, easier. Somehow, with patience and a horrible wink, I shot a few bulls eyes and beat my friend (who is in the military, albeit for medicine) 83 to 48.
I’ve been riding an ego surge for a few days now. This is what it must feel like when you’re a dude who just broke a PR on the bench lift or won a couple hundred bucks through poker. Nah, scratch that. This feeling is even better. Because I’m a 5’2” Asian girl with horrible hand-eye coordination who’s unlocked a secret talent she’s designed to not have.
Happy f—ing birthday to me.
Stay tuned…
I’ll be in Ireland next week, then finally back in London for a few days!
Refined taste
All things fine in life are savored. They can’t merely be read about. There’s a tangible quality, value in its physicality—the sensory experiences and the compounding marks they leave on your brain chemistry.
happy birthday!!
happy birthday :)